Children who demand attention

We all need the attention of friends and loved ones. Children share this human characteristic. Some of them, however, turn attention seeking into an art-form.

The limelight is irresistible and they seek to grab it by clowning, calling out, giggling or just acting in silly ways. They’ll try anything that might attract a laugh or a comment – even a negative one.

Some children try other ways to get more than their fair share of attention. They seem to be constantly complaining and nagging.

Some possible causes

It is natural for children to want to be noticed. If they can’t get positive attention, any kind will do.

Children copy others. When they see other people – older or younger than themselves – receiving attention, they will often adopt the same behaviour.

Even the reprimands of a parent or teacher may reinforce unacceptable behaviour.

To a child, negative attention is better that nothing. In a strange way, parental correction may actually be reinforcing the behaviour being criticised.

Ways of helping

Make a conscious effort to give attention to the child when he or she is behaving properly, and try to ignore annoying behaviour.

Praise the type of behaviour you want. Be very specific “I like the way you helped me do that task so cheerfully,’ is probably more effective than “You've been a good boy today!”.

When appropriate, identify and name your child’s strengths, abilities and positive qualities.

Look for opportunities to help your child to feel good about himself or herself.

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