Helping children cope with crisis
Over the past few years, world events such as September 11 and the war on terror, the Beslan school massacre and the South East Asian Tsunami have made us feel more unsettled.
Children especially may be confused or fearful that they or their loved ones may be hurt. Adults need to help children feel safe, even if they themselves feel vulnerable.
Parents, teachers and other trusted adults can help children understand what is happening in the world, how events do or do not impact their lives, and how to cope with their emotions.
Following are some ideas on how to help young people through worrying and disturbing experiences.
Remain calm and reassuring
Children will take their cues from you, especially young children. Acknowledge that it is normal to feel uncertain, upset or anxious in situations, but let them know they, and their loved ones, will be OK. Talk with them about the future.
Take care of your own needs
Take time for yourself and try to deal with your own reactions to the situation.
You will be able to help your children if you are coping well. If you are anxious or upset, your children are more likely to be upset. Talk to other adults such as family, friends, faith leaders, or a counsellor. Take care of your physical health and make time, however small, to do things you enjoy.
It is important that adults support each other. Remember that you represent safety and security for your children and if you remain calm, then they’ll be fine.
Maintain a normal routine
Keeping to a regular schedule helps children see that their world will continue as normal.
Ensure children get plenty of sleep, regular meals and exercise. Encourage them to keep up with their schoolwork and extracurricular activities but don't push them if they seem overwhelmed.
Spend family time
Doing enjoyable activities together reinforces your children's sense of stability and normalcy. Young children may also want more physical contact (e.g. hugs, sitting on your lap, etc.). You know your children best, and your love and support are the most important factors in their sense of security.
Be a good listener and observer
Let children guide you as to how concerned they are or how much information they need. Be available to answer their questions but don’t dwell on issues they do not seem concerned with. Provide an opening for discussion by asking them how they feel about current events.
Turn off or monitor the television
It is important to stay informed but watching endless news programs is likely to heighten your anxiety and that of your children. Young children in particular cannot distinguish between images on TV and their personal reality. If older children want to watch the news, be available to discuss what they see and help put it into perspective.
Be willing to discuss the concept of death
Given the intense focus on death in the wake of terrorist attacks and the tsunami, children may be more concerned about themselves or a loved one dying. Talking with them is important. Trusting in your Christian faith is also likely to provide a powerful source of support when it comes to dealing with these issues.
Do something positive with your children to help others
Making a positive contribution to the community helps people feel more in control and builds a stronger sense of connection. See what activities your child’s school is organising or become involved in community and parish groups.
Reactions to look for
Signs that a young person may be anxious or unsettled about events in their lives may include:
Preschoolers – thumb sucking, bedwetting, clinging to parents, sleep disturbances, loss of appetite, fear of the dark, regression in behaviour, withdrawal from friends and routines
Primary school children -irritability, aggressiveness, clinginess, nightmares, school avoidance, poor concentration, withdrawal from activities and friends
Adolescents - sleeping and eating disturbances, agitation, increase in conflicts, physical complaints, delinquent behaviour and poor concentration
Most children will be able to cope with the help of parents and caring adults. However some children may need extra support with the help of a professional, such as a counsellor. If you notice any of the warning signs make sure you talk to your child and let them know you are always available to help and answer questions. It is also a good idea to talk to your child’s teacher to find out how your child is behaving at school.
You can find more support and information from the:
Parents Representative Council
Tel: 9890 8795
Fax: 9890 8794
Email: PRC@ceo.parra.catholic.edu.au
« Return to student support article topic